CSE Farewell

People say when you are graduating you have mixed feelings. The first feeling that hits is I am delayed for the graduation, for first time in life I have failed and I am happy. May be the reason was many of others are also in the same situation. I cannot give that excuse I have not been upto my mark I have really let myself down. I have fallen out of the rat race and for first time I am regretting to be out of the rat race. I have worked hard to get out of the race but I forgot i have worked hard to keep my reputation.

I am really sad because no matter how much I say I dont give a damn, I give a lot of damn. But worst thing is I have let myself, my family down. They are supporting me thinking thesis is really tuff and I am really working hard. If I see myself in mirror I know what I am. I have been lucky I should really thank God for that I have got positions which I never deserved but still. I think its time there is some change in me otherwise I am giong down hard.

I should realize this is not school anymore where thoda sa karke and pleasing people will bring me on top. I really need to pick myself up and prove myself I have the fire which i talk in front of people to impress them. I need to get cocky and arrogant but I need to perform. I need to loosethat attitude of its ok I dont know what you are talking about, but also the attitude that i should learn and not do anything about it.

I am glad I went to the farewell otherwise I would not be acknowledging it to myself. There is a lot to write and a lot to think but from know onwards thinking should reflect in actions.

Lets keep it simple for the next week. Lets have simple goal and try working for 9 hours in 24 hours where day starts at 8 in morning to 12 in night. Lets keep this time fixed and go to bed at 12 30 and keep 30 mins to analyse what I have done and accomplised in the day to have a realization of failing so that next day I dont do the same.

PIzza Party

I am loving a bit of attention I am getting in media labs and how they have welcomed me into their circle. Today TVP sir is giving a pizza party and I am invited to it.

I should not get distracted y this things and focus on the most important thing and that is my thesis code. I ahvent still fixed the bug in my code. I can't understand How can I be so careless and easy going all I have to do is sit down and work hard for 8 hours every day and my work will be done.

Lets start todays work.

New Day with Full Of Hopes

Todays is the day when I have to finally meet Sir. Today will be a day which can decide my thesis or can be a disastrous day for me. There will be a lot of factors to consider, most important one is how is Sir's mood.

Lets just work on creating the course and PDF and then I can work on Content map and UI if both done in time then I can work on the functionality.

Well I didnt get time to complete this post yesterday itself. My code was buggy and I had no way out but draw a CMAP('sort of'). Explained it to Sir, It was his kindness that I didnt get murdered and he told me to complete it. After that I havent done any work.

Possessed With coding fever

Today is the day when I have to show myself, what I have been saying to many that when it comes to writing code I forget everything. Today I have to be like the man possessed.

To make sure, I do this, I will be blogging every 30 mins My progress.

For next half hour the goal is to set up the Content map creation page and its database and cmap table.

It seems I am going at a very slow speed it took me more than 30 mins to just find and change the names. This shows how big fool I have be. I should have kept the connection in another file and included in all the scripts file.

I have made the content map working but still alot of things are to be done.

I have the basic design but still not very good looking would ask for sumeet's help in it. Not going to waste time on design as there are major work to do that is to work on the save option. On save option the thing to take care of is whether the node exist in drupal db or not if it doesnt which means we have created a new map in such a case all we have to do it load the node corresponding to the cmap and update its body.

Speed is very slow but still the progress is not that bad i am going good but still a mountain to climb but need to keep going

Remember navjot today you are a man possessed so act5 like one.

You acted as a man possessed and understood onething things are not that easy as you think and you must analyse your timelines properly or you should be ready to work at that pace to make sure everything works in your favor. AS I am writitng this I know I have almost finished my Content map now If I can just sit down for one more hour all the functionality for the dependency map can be done. Do you have the juice in you to do it.

I was the man possessed but as always I have my flaws and the worst is complacency. I t so complacent in few minutes after a slight positive outcome, It seems I have lost my going for the kill habit or shd I say I never had it.

But It is ok I am back and the fever shd get high in few minutes.

And my complacency has gotten the best of me :(